She found herself in a large home with a whole wall of glass on the back wall of the home, looking over the Disney parks in Anaheim. The room was incredibly spacious, with an open floor plan. The flooring was a dark shade, the furniture was modern but indistinguishable. She didn’t notice anything else besides the glass wall and the amazing view. She walked slowly towards the glass wall, entranced. She stopped a few feet away from the wall and reached her hand out, resting her palm on the cool glass. She was able to see the different rides clearly from her location. She slowly sat down on a small ledge carved out in front of the glass wall and stared, mouth slightly agape at the beautiful view below. She watched the kids enjoying the rides and their time with their families, she watched the rides go in circles around and around again. She watched the trees breeze around gently throughout the park. It was a clear, sunny day with bright blue skies as far as the eye can see. Her partner came up behind her and watched with her for a few seconds before breaking the peaceful silence, “Ready to go?”

“Yeah, I just need to use the bathroom first,” she said as she stood up, glancing one more time out the window.

She finished up washing her hands in the bathroom and opened the door to find her partner waiting for her.

“Ready?” He asked.

Just as she was about to respond, her ex came into the bathroom in front of the couple. Although she recognized that it was her ex in the dream, in this dream, he was apparently current boyfriend #2. #2 walked into the bathroom and to the left, the couple following his steps with quizzical faces.

“What are you doing? We’re about to leave,” she told #2.

#2 pulled out a small, white box and opened it. The box was cushioned with two white, velvety pillows on each side of the box. A silver band with three small diamonds across the top sat snugly in the box. “I thought about it and I just wanted to give you this. You deserve it. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me so far and I love you, and this is my way of showing it.”

She stared at the ring. It obviously wasn’t a proposal. He knew she was more dedicated to her current partner, who was standing behind her and looking intently at the box, but not angry. It seems they had some sort of agreement to share her in this dream. She smiled sweetly and picked up the ring, examining it. “Thank you,” she said softly.

Just then, her phone rang. It was boyfriend #3 in her dream. In real life, this person was a prior crush that she developed feelings for while she was already in a relationship, but nothing ever happened as they were both in a relationship. They were just friends. They were actually housemates for two years but never became acquainted until the final few months of her living at that house. She pushed the ring back in the safety of the velvet pillows in the ring box and answered her phone quickly.

“Did you want a free notebook from the bookstore? I’m working today and I can give it to you now if you want.” #3 asked through the phone.

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll get it right now.” She said excitedly. She loved journals, notebooks, pens, anything with writing. She had more than she could practically use. She smiled up at #2 before turning to face her current partner and mouthing, “I have to take this, I’ll be back really quick.” She walked swiftly past her current partner, picked up her bag, and walked out of the home. She was still on the phone with #3 as she began walking towards the school bookstore. The home was nestled on the edge of the college plaza. The bookstore was only a ten minute walk from the home. She began explaining what just happened in their home.

“He really gave you a ring?” #2 asked.

“Yeah, weird, right? I honestly thought he hated me after what I did to him.” She replied. She was approaching the bookstore now. “Are you on the second floor?” She asked. “I’m about to enter the bookstore right now.”

“Yeah, I have to help a customer really quickly but I’ll bring the notebook down and meet you outside.” He replied hurriedly, feeling the pressure of the impatient customer awaiting his assistance.

“Okay,” she said and hung up the call. She waiting in the shade of the bookstore, near the entrance. It wasn’t too hot today, but it was warm. She watched cars driving by the confusing streets of the nearby campus. There was an intersection of only three lanes. Only one street led towards the college campus from that intersection and the lanes after the intersection stop signs split into two, wrapping around a gently sloping hill. The lane splitting to the left was an entrance-only lane while the lane splitting to the right was an exit-only lane. The school never bothered to clearly mark these lanes aside from a large “STOP” painted white on the asphalt across the entire exit lane on the right. Safe to say, it was very easy for visiting parents to get lost.

“Hey! Here it is!” #3 exclaimed excitedly, breaking her stare at the cars. He was excited that he got to see her in the middle of the day. She turned and smiled at him, greeting him with a hug. She doesn’t know how long she was waiting, but the sun was shifting and they were now standing in the sun, even though she never moved. He stood in front of her, towards the sun, and shaded his eyes with his hand as he talked to her.

“So you have three guys that love you, huh?” He asked comically.

She laughed, “I guess so. Look at me, going from almost losing one to now having three. I guess I have three boyfriends now.” The way she felt for #3 in her dream was the same way she felt for him back then. A longing that only she understood, paired with a desperate realization that she will never be able to be with him. She loved her current partner and no one would ever be able to take her away from him. She was dedicated to him. The other two in her dream were just there, but she really only wanted to spend her life with her current partner. Her and #3 finished their conversation as he went back to work and she began to return to the other two.

What was her dream trying to tell her? A love she’d never want to lose, a love she did lose, and a crush that was never meant to be? Were these the stages of her current relationship? She had a crush on her current partner ever since they met nine years ago. Nothing ever blossomed because there was a six year age difference between them. They met at a dance camp that his dance team was hosting. She never liked tattoos or piercings on a guy until she laid eyes on him. He made them look good. It was like love at first sight for her, but more of the high school kind of crush love. She knew nothing would ever happen because he was way out of her dating spectrum, given the age difference. She moved away for college shortly after camp, but they still kept in touch. As she grew into a woman, they talked more often. They started seeing each other more after she started going to raves and would make plans to meet up together for a quick picture. After about three years, they developed a habit of seeing each other about once a year to catch up. They were always in relationships at different times so nothing ever went past just friends, and she always kept him at an invisible distance because she still always found him attractive and didn’t want to jeopardize her current relationship at the time by getting too close to him and liking him more. Whatever boyfriend she was dating at the time while they were friends never liked him. And his girlfriends never liked her. Guess we know why now. After another two or three years, she was going through some relationship problems and was currently on a break with her boyfriend. He was single at the time. He invited her out to a club to help cheer her up and take her mind off it. The night went great, but nothing came of it because she ended up working things out with her boyfriend at the time. A few months later, he entered a new relationship while she ended hers. Now, nine years later, her impossible dream came true. She never thought anything would ever happen between them. He was always too good for her in her mind. She poured her heart and soul into their relationship because she liked him for all these years. She fell in love with him – hard. But somewhere through their journey, the honeymoon phase ended and he felt lost. She knew she never wanted to lose him, so she understood that he needed time and space to find himself and find what makes him happy, and what was currently making him unhappy. Now, she waits patiently, hoping that “a crush that was never meant to be” wasn’t the theme of her dream.