It seems my body reacts to stress before my mind even worries about it. The more responsibilities I gain at work, the more my body tells me to slow down. I’m starting to think I need an occupation that is less mind-intensive or maybe just try a different firm. Maybe if I enjoyed my job a bit more it’d be less stressful to work on the more intense responsibilities.

I arrived at work today and began experiencing nausea and a massive headache that would come and go. I also experienced discomfort in different parts of my abdomen; similar to period cramps. It was really hard to work on the drafts I needed to do. I was only able to work on two drafts before calling it quits for the day and leaving early. I tried to sleep off my ailments but I’m awake now and my headache and nausea are still there. Sigh. If I’m destined for great things, I hope I find those things fast before my body quits on me.

Ever since my throw-down with PTSD last year, my body has been so much more sensitive. I experienced these symptoms at my prior job as well when everyone began worrying about job security after the first round of layoffs. Especially after my suicide attempt in August, every bit of stress causes my body to give up. I’m starting to think I need to take time off from a job completely so my body can reset itself, but my funds won’t allow that.