5'1" Stories

I didn’t cry about any of this until you decided it was a great idea to message me and make small talk and dared to ask me how I feel. Probably because you were drinking. Like all of your other terrible ideas. Like driving under the influence with me in the car. Everything bad was caused by you drinking. Nothing good ever came out of it. It’s gotten you in trouble more than it has ever helped you. And it never has helped you. Alcohol is a depressant. It doesn’t make you feel better. It keeps you stuck being depressed in a negative feedback loop. You can’t travel internationally because of your drinking. You could have killed yourself or an innocent bystander or family because of your drinking. You can’t have a hard conversation with me without alcohol. When will you learn that you need to stop drinking? Of course it doesn’t hurt you, it hurts everyone around you. Scaring the people who love you the most. Your family always asks me to drive for you whenever you drink. Don’t you think that’s a bad enough sign? When they can’t trust you even if you’d have a single drink? Which, you never do. You always have more than just one. I’m bitter because you decided to endanger my life that night by refusing to let me drive for you, saying you’re fine, and me trying to trust you after everything, believing you. I trusted you finally and I ended up scared for my life. Your BAC was over .20% Learn to fucking say no to a drink. Even if it’s your birthday. You should have known better. You knew you were driving. I should have calculated your BAC beforehand, not after the car was already moving and I noticed you were actually not okay to drive. I’m supposed to SSDGM but I decided to trust you, the person who’s supposed to love and care for me, instead. Does anyone ever really change? I still don’t know how I’m supposed to forgive you for that. Forgive you for being reckless? Forgive you for being a danger to me and yourself? Forgive you for being stupid? Forgive you for not being able to turn down a drink? You keep saying you’re not an alcoholic, but would a non-alcoholic person continue drinking for 4 hours straight when they’re driving home? Or endanger their loved one by driving under the influence? Insisting they’re okay? I think a normal adult person would know how to be responsible and say no. Who fucking cares it’s your birthday when it’s your life AND SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE in your hands. I’m sorry my life and yours is not more important than alcohol.