One of the things I value about my blog – and myself – is that it’s real. I have learned, through years of trauma, how to speak about my raw feelings. And a lot of people can’t handle that. A lot of people ask if I’m okay or say I’m so strong, and although yeah I do admit my traumas have strengthened me, it just makes me realize how much people don’t communicate or aren’t honest about their feelings. My honesty and ability to speak my true emotions is a special trait that I’ve learned – the hard way – and some people don’t learn this skill their entire life. And I will never sugarcoat or filter myself ever again. I will never hide my true emotions to make others feel comfortable. I won’t lie to your face about how I feel. I won’t say “It’s okay,” or “I’m okay,” when it’s/I’m not. Every time anyone asked me how I was after my hospitalization/psych hold, I never said I was okay. I told the truth, I showed the scars and stitches. I am not afraid of being honest anymore. I’ve told the truth about the hardest things: being raped, being in abusive relationships, attempting suicide. I’ve been through a lot. There’s really not much to faze me anymore. Not something like a break or break up. That is nothing compared to what I’ve already been through. I’ll go through the emotions and feel them, write about them, and let them go. Because that’s what you’re supposed to do. You’re supposed to allow yourself to feel the emotions and then let them go.

My self-expression is probably the only positive thing I’ve gotten from my traumas. It’s part of my perseverance, integrity, and who I am.

People filter or hide themselves too much nowadays (or always). Everything is about social media nowadays and everyone paints the perfect picture on social media. People are desensitized to real emotions and situations because of social media. It’s not always island getaways, vacations, perfect outfits, perfect weather, etc. People will never air out their dirty laundry to dry. Except me! Maybe I’m just weird like that. I don’t care about airing out my own dirty laundry. But I do care when people gossip and air out my business. (Another unfortunate situation I’ve been in that basically ruined college for me.) I have specific people I tell things to to avoid that situation from happening again.