I’m actually surprised that the insecurities I felt in my relationship are actually pretty common in other relationships. Albeit my insecurities were exacerbated by lying and deceit, it’s really interesting to see how different minds can process things the same way. It’s hard to describe things in a way that doesn’t just seem jealous, but at least I know at least one other person gets it. That, to us, liking a post has a meaning and intention. And sure, we may be overanalyzing and making ourselves insecure with the overanalyzing, but at least I know I’m not alone in the thought process and that because it’s a common problem, it makes me feel less like the failure. It’s a fact that women feel and interpret more emotions than men, and I think that’s the key difference.

In our relationships, liking a picture doesn’t mean anything to them. But to us it means you like the picture and like what you see. Which, yes, everyone has a right to their own enjoyment and entertainment. But to me, my thought process is: If you’re happy with me, you don’t need to look anywhere else. (Which is also the rationale behind cheating as well.) As you can see, it’s quite the internal struggle between understanding it may mean nothing to them and everyone is entitled to their own entertainment, and thinking it means you want what you like. Because if you like it, it means you like it. It’s hard to brush off a “like” as nothing because it literally means you like what you see. It’s hard to battle with those insecurities, especially when exacerbated by lying and deceit.

If you want to help your partner work through their insecurities while also maintaining your personal freedom: do not lie to them. Don’t say you don’t know why it’s on your explore page when you know exactly why – because you’ve been liking content of similar nature. Don’t say it doesn’t mean anything to you if you refuse to unfollow them and defend them rather than try to understand you. If it doesn’t mean anything to you, then it doesn’t make a difference to unfollow them. If there is a specific element of the content you like, BE HONEST. You only dig yourself a deeper hole by lying. Be honest because it helps your partner understand what you enjoy and helps them learn about you. It helps them know that you’re able to be honest even if it risks hurting their feelings because at least they can trust you to tell the truth.

Insecurities are definitely exacerbated by lies. Insecurities are already hard enough for the person experiencing them. Don’t make it harder by lying.

The main part of overcoming insecurities is identifying the triggers and open communication. It’s amazing how many things communication can fix, right? It’s almost like it’s a key part of every relationship. Makes you wonder why some people refuse to communicate, it’s like a death wish for the relationship. I should have seen it coming.