I used to struggle with feelings of being left out, not being liked by others, or wanting to be included in everything. After college, that feeling lessened, but I still struggled with it with my close friends.

After getting off social media, mostly Instagram, that feeling disappeared entirely. Maybe it’s not being reminded every few minutes that other people are going out, having fun, eating good food, dating, etc. Maybe it’s just realizing that if I want something, I can make it happen and I don’t need to wait to be invited to do something. Maybe it’s growing up and realizing I don’t need to have so many friends. I value sincere and genuine friendships more now than ever. Friendships where, if I went to an entirely different state to visit, I know I’ll be housed, fed, and the person will be genuinely excited to see me (true story).

Another part of growing up is adulting and understanding you only get more busy as you try to build a stable/secure life, and not everyone you want to hang out with will be available – or even you yourself won’t be available.

Rest assured, many of your FOMO and insecurity problems will be solved once you get off social media. For the most part, it was mainly Instagram for me. The endless scrolling, comparisons, and FOMO were, honestly, really detrimental to my mental health. Instagram solely led to a lot of conflict between me and K during our relationship.

Remember: social media only shows the best times, and even then, it could be highly edited.

I still use Facebook every now and then because I am a moderator for a group, but the app itself is not on my phone. I purposely make it difficult for myself if I want to check Facebook because the mobile website is not user-friendly and it discourages me from checking the site. Even then, I’ve learned how to be more conscientious about the time I spend on Facebook and my phone in general. I’ve been replacing my scrolling habits with more constructive activities that I enjoy such as reading, taking free courses online, and doing jigsaw puzzles.

I’ve also taken a step back from streaming because – in all honesty – it’s not exciting for me anymore. It’s a great way for my friends and I to hang out and catch up, and talk about a single topic – the game or puzzle – or just have casual conversation. But it’s not very rewarding to me besides the quality time I spend with my friends. It’s also a huge time-suck and makes me forget to eat or hydrate while I’m streaming. I’m also just not that interested in the PC games nowadays. Nothing’s fun to play anymore.

What brought this on was that I looked at a couple of stories through Facebook Messenger and for once, I realized that I don’t envy these people. I’m not impressed that you gym or envy your gym body, I don’t care that you’re traveling or posting photo after photo of all the food you’re eating. It just makes me realize the fundamental need for society to crave attention. And yeah, of course, I crave attention now and then, but I know specifically what I’m looking for – comfort, care, love, company – and from specifically who I want it from. One-worded replies to stories or having lots of views makes absolutely no impact on making me feel better. How significant is a reply on a story that says, “Omg that looks so good”? It’s not. It’s small talk and I absolutely despise small talk. If I’m going to spend my energy and time conversing with you, make it worth my while. I don’t need two-second dopamine rushes. I want the love and warmth from a genuine connection.

Being off social media has taught me a lot about myself that I honestly never thought would happen. I never thought being off social media would have such a profound effect on my mental health. I strongly commend myself for my ability to stay off Instagram. It didn’t work the first time around. Second chances actually do work, I guess?