I’m beginning to feel more indifferent each day. Aside from the excitement of dating and getting to know people, I feel as though I’m not truly attracted to anyone at all. I feel torn between wanting to still feel great attraction toward him while we have this last month together and drifting away to prepare myself for the planned end.

In my head, I think I should feel something towards someone, but I don’t. At least, nothing noticeable and consistent. Maybe this is all just part of the process. Maybe this is just my emotions resetting themselves after the stress they’ve endured recently.

I admit I may have jumped the gun on dating so quickly soon after the break up, but I still feel it was necessary to not be so attached and in love. It was necessary to begin separating myself from the relationship as the end draws closer.

He was always my person, even before we started dating. He was the person I always defended. He was the person that cared for me so greatly and kept in touch despite the years passing by. He always wanted to talk, even if I always kept it cordial. He was my person. It sucks to lose your person. It sucks to not feel much towards your person anymore. To go from wanting to get married to your person and create a life to seeing the end so tangibly. I just want a person again.