It’s so odd for me to look at a photo of us and just think, “Wow, I spent a year of my life with you.”

To look back in hindsight and actually consider the fact that I shared my whole life with someone for a whole year! It’s kind of crazy.

Past relationships are always old news but I never really fathomed the idea that yeah, I shared my life with this person for X amount of years. Like that person was a part of me and a big part of my life during that time.

I don’t know, just something I realized.

I’ve opened my heart up to people so many times and so many times has it not worked out. Kind of makes you wonder when it’ll finally work out. When it’ll stop being an afterthought.

I guess I’m just so used to the heartbreak. To the relationship cycle.

I actually tried to kill myself over you. Literally. I’m blowing my own mind at how much I was in love with you. And now? Nothing. Huh. What a tragic realization. It may just be the compartmentalizing. In fact, it probably is. I’d be hurting SO much more if I constantly loved you every single day while on this break. I guess I’ve learned how to put those feelings in a little box and lock it with a key until it’s time to open that box again.