We went on a brunch date and I’m not sure how I feel. Everything went well, it wasn’t awkward. I just feel like a part of me was held back because of our situation. I am still attracted to him, but I didn’t feel love the way I used to, and again, it may be because I felt held back. We did share a fairly passionate kiss as he dropped me off and it did spark the fire again. But there was still a layer of sadness at the bottom of it all because of the change in our circumstances. Knowing there could be an end. Knowing there could be a happy ending that’s out of my reach, just at the end of my fingertips. The kiss reminded me how much of our attraction is physical rather than compatibility. There is definitely more of a physical/chemical connection than emotional, in my opinion. We don’t see eye to eye on a lot of issues. I’m much more conservative in my relationship views and he’s much more liberal.

I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been feeling slightly depressed over the whole situation. Besides the underlying sadness, I’ve also been feeling more lazy at home. A two-day weekend just isn’t enough time to recuperate from work and complete all my chores. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to do laundry this weekend. It’s just feels like such a hassle when I have to go to the laundry room instead of having an in-unit washer/dryer. I pretty much stayed in bed for most of the day yesterday. Well, not in bed, but in bed then the couch for a good amount of time and then back to bed. I haven’t been eating as well as I should. I’m not really eating much at all. Just small bites here and there. I’m used to the inappetence when I’m anxious/depressed so I’m not too alarmed. It’ll get better. Hopefully sooner than later.