A person who is always behaving in an aggressive manner towards others, for instance, is often seen as an aggressive person, and many people (professionals included) will try to do things to stop her or his aggressive behaviour. From an SSLD perspective, however, the most important point is to understand what this individual is trying to do or achieve – in other words, her or his needs and desired goal. We do not assume that aggressive behaviour always means the same thing. A person may use aggression to express anger and frustration. Aggression may also be the only means the person knows for attaining personal goals or getting what she or he needs, be it money, food, attention, or personal space. The same person may also use aggressive means to express affection or even erotic desire. It is possible that the person has only developed a very narrow repertoire of social skills with aggressive behaviour being one of their limited options, and this may be why it is used across a variety of social settings. Understanding the individual’s motivational background is essential for helping them to develop an expanded set of strategies and skills for achieving personal goals without resorting to aggression.

“Learning to Change Lives: The Strategies and Skills Learning and Development System” by A. Ka Tat Tsang

I think, as women, we collectively use aggression to achieve many of our goals because we are not taken seriously unless we mean business, and the most common way to emit seriousness is aggression. Men do not take women seriously, or are not forced to pay attention to women, until women are yelling. Yelling is a sign of something awry. Yelling is a means of attracting attention, conveying seriousness, a problem. It often takes a “powerful” woman to get things done. What does power mean? Assertiveness, another form of aggression. Not standing down when things get difficult, another form of aggression. Aggression is one of the only ways to escape a life-threatening situation, to tell men we’re not interested, to get by without the dangers of men.