The second that I’m lied to, the second you lose my trust. And we all know how difficult it is to rebuild trust. I’ve gone through more than my “fair” share of relationships where I’m constantly worrying every day whether I’m being lied to, whether I can trust anything that comes out your mouth from the first point that you lie to me. There’s just no coming back from that. The second you lie to me, the second I know you’re capable of lying to me, and the second I can no longer trust any word that comes out of your mouth.

I’ve been lied to about how much I meant to a person, how much they loved me – only to find out they were seeing someone else every time we had a rough patch/break. That shit fucking hurts. And that feeling of hurt stays in you. And guess what? I felt that at 16, and found out that spanned back the entire relationship I knew the guy. Every single time we were “off”, he’d just go back to the other girl. Someone that swore they wanted to marry me, have kids with me, and just love me. All of it was a lie.

Even if it’s a lie to “protect my feelings” like, “I don’t look at models, I only want to look at you.” The moment I found out that wasn’t true, meant to me that you didn’t mean anything about how you feel about me or how much you want me.

You lie to me about how much you make – as if I could care any less – and that false sense of security is just that – false. And it only hurts more when that “reassurance” turns out to my a lie. Just fucking tell the truth.

I’d rather be hurt by the truth than betrayed by a lie.

A lie, no matter how big or small, means you don’t respect or trust the other person enough to be honest with them. And if you lie about something small, like I don’t know, your favorite color – if you’re willing to lie about something as small and stupid as that – what else are you willing to lie to me about?

I hate liars and I used to be an avid one as a child. I learned the hard way that it hurts more than it helps.

I’m just so tired of having to worry about whether what my loved one is saying to me is true, whether they truly love me like they say they do. It’s honestly excruciating to go through that worry every single day, and I don’t want to go through that again. It’s not hard to be honest, really. It’s harder to lie and continue lying to cover up your first lie. There’s nothing to keep track of what’s true and what’s not when you’re honest.

And I’ve tried the, “You know what? I hate this feeling. I’m just going to trust them.” It doesn’t work because what they lie about is how they truly feel, and you realize that everything built on top of that is a lie.