Sometimes I honestly forget that I’m off social media. I forget that some people actually read my blog to keep in touch with me. So I guess I should post more consistently. I used to push myself to post daily; however, as you can tell, it’s been a little sporadic lately. Here’s why:

• I spent the past day and a half in the hospital, visiting my mother. She had a heart palpitation episode during work and felt faint, lightheaded, numb extremities, diaphoresis, tightness in her chest, and difficulty breathing. Thankfully she called over her coworker and the coworker called the ambulance and me. Unfortunately, the paramedics/EMT that responded to the call went the BLS route and assumed it was an anxiety attack and did not do an EKG on her. Because of this, they missed the only opportunity to figure out what specific arrhythmia was causing these heart palpitations. The hospital she was transported to did keep her for one night due to an abnormal EKG reading at the time; however, the doctor later said the EKG reading was typical of a post-heart-palpitation episode and could not indicate what type of arrhythmia she had. All of the tests the hospital ran came back normal, which is good, but also bad because we ultimately do not know what caused her heart palpitations. The only other thing my mother can do now is follow up with the cardiologist and per the cardiologist, do a cardiac stress test or an angiogram to pinpoint the problem. Hopefully she does follow up. Anyway, that took up my past day and a half. Despite my mother continuously saying not to visit her, it’s too far, it’s a hassle, etc., what am I supposed to do? Go to work and pretend nothing’s wrong? Go to work and be a bummer the entire day, be distracted, and not get any work done anyways? She called me while she was waiting in the ER and told me not to come, it was too far (it was an hour drive with traffic), but I had already left work at that point and was already on the way there. What am I supposed to do, turn back around and go back to work? It wasn’t a false alarm, my mother really was sent to the hospital. I’m supposed to just sit at home, helpless, the rest of the evening? I needed to be there for her, and for me. To keep her company, help her be less nervous and scared, and for me to ensure I and my family were getting the answers we need regarding her health, and make sure she’s following through with the medical treatment/plan. I learned that I felt more focused on what caused her heart palpitations than just being scared for her and her health, and I know it’s not because there’s a lack of empathy or care, it’s because my mind tunneled in on that focus in order to distract myself from the shock of receiving a call stating, “Your mother had a medical emergency at work.”
• The past two days were also spent attempting to spend time with my firefighter after he was on for 6 days straight, and only off for two days before going back for another 4. Although we had planned a dinner date the first night he was off, he was understanding about the medical emergency my family was thrown into; he even visited and met my family (sans dad) at the hospital, which was honestly – shocking to me. Would my exes have done the same? Would they just say, “Let me know how it goes”? He actually made the effort to say, “What can I do for you? Do you want me to stay on the phone with you while you drive there? Let me know when you get to the hospital and I’ll head over too.” He actually made the emotional and physical effort to spend time and wait outside the ER with us (limited visitors at once) while we all waited for test results and consults. He even kept my mom entertained by talking to her and talking about his job. Which, by the way, my mom seems to love him. I’m just so glad to have finally found someone that would put in the same effort and love for me and my family that I would for theirs. Even my older sister said, “You definitely upgraded,” when he left – which I found absolutely hilarious.
• Aside from the shock of the past few days, I spent the past weekend or so battling allergies for the first time, so I didn’t really have the energy or mindset to sit down and word-vomit my feelings. Sneezing, postnasal drip, congestion, dry/scratchy throat, and coughing. If it weren’t for otherwise feeling well and healthy, I would think I had COVID. I took two rapid tests over the span of a couple days just to make sure anyways, though. The funny part is, after I left the office on Friday, the sneezing ceased and the congestion cleared up. I still had a fair amount of residual congestion, postnasal drip, and coughing over the weekend though. I still have a bit of a lingering cough, which doesn’t help because I’m prone to coughing at night/while in bed anyways.
• This past Saturday was spent getting my blood drawn for tests and catching up with an old friend/housemate and my big, and dress shopping for a dress for my big’s wedding in June.
  • The blood tests were a referral from my primary care physician that I visited last Tuesday. She suggested (thankfully) that I get my blood checked to check my vitamin levels and see if there is any deficiency causing my anxiety and depression. I’ve been wanting to do this anyways so I’m glad she brought it up and referred me for it. From what I can remember, I got my blood tested for Vitamin B12, Vitamin D, and some other things… Ultimately, they drew 5 vials of blood.
  • From there, I went immediately to my friend’s house, which was located approximately 40 minutes away from me. Luckily, it was a Saturday and there wasn’t traffic. From there, it was another 30-40 minutes to get to the shopping mall, so it was a pretty far distance. Unfortunately, we did not find a dress; however, I did order one online (pictured below) and hopefully (fingers crossed!) it comes before the wedding date with enough time to make sure it fits and if not, ask my friend to tailor the dress for me. But we shall see. I do have a backup dress already in my closet should I need it. My big’s wedding is going to be very extravagant, so a formal dress is required.

So, I’ve had a hectic few days, which only leads to catching up for the remainder of the week. But, I do have a few accomplishments to share!

1. I donated blood for the first time today! The paralegal association I am a part of hosted a blood drive with American Red Cross today and I am finally eligible, for the first time in my life, to donate blood. I have always been underweight in the past. If it weren’t for the booty gains from taking the stairs every day at work, or possibly COVID weight – or maybe even my metabolism beginning to slow down now that I’m now in my late twenties, I wouldn’t be eligible to donate blood. So there’s a blessing hidden in there, whatever the reason I gained weight is.
2. The attorney that our office trained for San Diego’s office came back to celebrate Admin Appreciation Day with us via bowling after work. It was nice to see her again and catch up! While at the bowling alley, she profusely complimented my writing, to the extent where she said that she had been sending my writing samples as a template throughout the San Diego office, saying all the attorneys compliment my work, and complimenting me by saying I would be a really good lawyer, and I have what it takes to make it to and through law school, based on my current writing skills. Here’s a hack: the ability to type fast and having really good writing skills makes being a lawyer really easy. I’ve heard this from all of the attorneys I work/ed with solely due to my writing skills. I guess it’s just intuitive that I have a blog. I definitely do not see being an attorney in my future; however, who knows, the future may always change. But currently, I will vehemently deny the opportunity to go to law school. I don’t want to deal with the stress of school, clients, deadlines, hours of studying and work, and let alone the debt/money it would take to put me through school; and not just the cost of the schooling alone, the cost of reducing my hours at work or quitting my job completely just to attend law school. There’s a lot more cons than pros to being a lawyer in my eyes. Long hours, endless workload, angry clients, making sure you make every attempt to CYA to avoid any UPL, conflicts of interests, etc. I love having a set schedule and leaving work at work. I probably wouldn’t even take an offer to be a salaried employee because that would mean they can call on me to work at any time, any day, and I absolutely value my own time.
   • Separate, but also related, a different attorney that I normally work with complimented another notice I drafted: “You are an incredibly fantastic writer!” It was the same attorney that said, “One of the best notices I’ve ever seen drafted,” but the sentiment still counts even if she may be biased towards me. Can I have that written on my memorial: “One of the best notices I’ve ever seen drafted”?

Honestly, thinking about the idea of who would write my obituary or offer a eulogy at my funeral, it’s heartwarming – and not to say I think I’m the most amazing person ever and everyone loves me. But to think about all the people I have close in my life now and knowing what they think of me currently – I hope I take that to the grave and nothing changes negatively. It’s amazing to have such a supportive network, who will openly support you and share your wins with you – people that aren’t self-centered, and are empathetic. I love the people in my life right now. Everyone in my life is literally amazing.