I am typically very wary when I meet new people. It’s rare for me to follow through with meeting a new person the first time around. It usually takes one or two rain checks before I finally get around to meeting someone new. Today was no different. I met two people for the first time in person. Unsurprisingly, this was not the first attempt at meeting.

The first was my “little.” We met online, through Tumblr, approximately 9 to 10 years ago and have become close friends and cultured a mentor/mentee relationship throughout the years (hence the “little” title). Vietnamese Student Association (VSA) at my college is what sparked our current “big” and “little” pseudonyms. Each VSA organization throughout the nation has a program called Anh Chi Em (roughly translated, “Big and Little”), which pairs up older college students with newer/younger students to guide them through university. I am a few years older than my little and joined VSA first, where I learned about the program. I encouraged him to join his local VSA program and affectionately called him my “little” from that point on. Since then, we’ve always nurtured the Big and Little relationship, but never had the opportunity to meet in person until he recently moved to my area for his residency. You know that very common warning: “Don’t meet strangers online”? Well, a lot of my close friends are actually people I have met online and have been the best and strongest friendships I’ve ever had – and I wouldn’t hesitate to meet these people in person. Of course, with the typical precautions – public area, driving myself, always being prepared, etc. And I’m glad to have done so today. Meeting someone in person after speaking with them for 9-10 years is like not even meeting for the first time. There was no awkwardness, shyness, we simply spoke to each other as if we were chatting normally. And I thoroughly enjoy that. I enjoy having conversations in which I can be myself – another reason I’m reluctant to meet new people.

First meetings are usually very jittery, especially when it’s someone you don’t talk to regularly. I have met a few girls through the Facebook group I moderate and they weren’t the best experiences; however, the people I have met most recently for the first time have all panned out great so far.

In addition to meeting my little, I also met a guy I’ve been talking to here and there. We first met on a dating app, but I eventually changed my perspective on dating from serious to “if it happens, it happens.” Therefore, meeting one another wasn’t our biggest priority. If our paths crossed and provided the opportunity – great! If not, we’ll just wait for another opportunity to meet up. Well, our stars aligned today and we got to meet one another for the first time after 3 months. This meeting also kicked off without a hitch. We immediately recognized one another, we got along extremely well, there was no awkwardness, and I felt really comfortable talking to him. We share similar views on a few things: no social media, no drugs, alcohol (him not much, me not entirely), cars, and we both share the common habit of being studious and striving for academic achievement. It’s hard to find someone nowadays that is as studious as I am. It’s comforting to find someone so similar. We’ll see what happens…

In addition to these two, I also met a girl recently that has encouraged me to be more active and attend fitness classes with her, as well as generally getting along well because we share very similar opinions on many topics. I was very touched when she asked me for general relationship advice/my experience as well.

I take these new friendships with a grain of salt because I’ve learned that friendships formed later in life generally don’t last, but I am pleasantly surprised at how things are going so far and it’s giving me motivation to meet new people.

I am expecting to meet a group of new people this upcoming weekend as well. Hopefully I don’t bail (again).

I think it may be general social anxiety as the reason to which I cancel plans. It may be that what I’m cancelling for (extremely sore legs, money, time, etc.) is more important to me because I have never met these people before. It makes sense to put my needs over strangers first. I probably wouldn’t cancel plans with lifelong friends for these same reasons because they would either pay for me, not require as much time to talk being we already know one another, and generally because we see each other so infrequently that it would be worth pushing through the pain of incredibly sore legs to meet up for a meal. It could also be because of general comfort with one another so I wouldn’t need to mask the pain of my sore legs or hesitate about my tight wallet. We can be candid with one another.

So far these new bonds are going well. Hopefully that trend continues.