I’m actually kind of happy that we’re a bit busy on both of our ends. It makes the time we spend together more special. I’m trying not to spend time with him unless I can give him my full attention because he deserves nothing less. I’d feel awful if I see him after work and I’m just too tired to be excited to see him. I want him to feel desired and special when I spend time with him.

I guess that’s one difference in this relationship. We don’t try to squeeze in every second to see each other to the point where we’re not mentally present. That’s happened a lot in my previous relationships – thinking that spending as much time together as we can would fix things or be a good time.

It’s not how much time we spend together, it’s what we make of the time we spend together.

Plus I’ll have to get used to him not being around all the time anyways – firefighter things – which I’m also happy about too because I tend to become codependent in my relationships, contrary to my self-sufficient independence. Being able to spend so much time away will allow me to still retain my independence and not become codependent. It’ll probably be my first ever relationship that I’m not codependent.

I’m glad he also admires my independence because that’ll mean he’ll (hopefully) call me out when I start showing codependence. I really want to be aware of my independence though. I enjoy my independence and freedom. I want to keep it that way. I hate when I become codependent in relationships and sometimes I don’t even realize it.

I don’t want to lose myself in a relationship again.

At least I’m aware of it so I know what to look out for to prevent it.