Is Trauma Actually Stored In Our Hips?

Today, experts are studying “embodied trauma,” or when someone has unexplainable physical symptoms that are assumed to be caused by past traumas. Anecdotally, clinical psychologist and dance/movement therapist Ilene Serlin, PhD, says some of her clients who can’t verbally express what they’re feeling or talk about their trauma sometimes experience physical symptoms associated with that trauma. Through her practice, she has noticed clients who are trauma survivors experience seemingly unexplained issues like migraines, rashes, and stomach issues, and later realize they could be processing some kind of traumatic event from their past. 

Could this be the explanation for my consistent nightmares, occasional migraines, and sensitive stomach? For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had very vivid, disturbing dreams. To this day, I have vivid dreams that are slightly disturbing, and I’m usually able to remember what happens in my dream the following morning. If it is especially disturbing, my mind wanders back to the dream throughout the day.

For example: The night before last, I had a dream that I was a veterinary assistant (again) and helping a pregnant queen (female cat) that was in distress. The veterinarian told me, “Take the kittens as they come out and move them to the incubator. But if the queen dies, do a c-section and take all the kittens out.” I highly doubt there is a medical reason to do this, but it’s a dream, so when does anything make sense? Anyways – I was keeping an eye on the queen and two kittens came out. I had moved them to the incubator and was getting a warming pad when I came back to the queen and saw that her breathing had slowed. We already knew the queen was dying and nothing else could be done for her. At this point, we were just providing support to her kittens. I watched the queen for a couple seconds and thought the queen had died. As instructed by the veterinarian, I opened up the queen to remove the litter inside so they also wouldn’t die. The moment I cut into the queen, I realized she was not dead yet. I immediately began panicking because if she wasn’t dead yet, I definitely killed her. I saw three stillborn kittens inside her and rushed to the veterinarian, crying that I had killed her. That’s all I remember from my dream: the fear and panic that I killed her and the images of the stillborn kittens inside her.

In fact, one study on how the amygdala impacts other parts of the brain and memories suggests that amygdala activity spikes during emotional times, which can lead to memories that are higher quality and easier to remember. So, basically, traumatic memories are stored in the brain.

I remember waking up one morning as a teen, gasping for air, clutching my chest, and feeling as though my emotions were being physically removed from my body. From that day forward, I always felt disconnected from my emotions.

That [fight, flight, or freeze] response is supposed to be temporary but, for some people, it can last, leading to long-term mental health effects like depression, anxiety, mood changes, flashbacks, nightmares or trouble sleeping, and social isolation, per the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). A person might also experience dissociation—feeling disconnected from their body or emotions—as a way for their brain to cope with the stress of trauma, according to the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation. 

But here’s where the mind-body connection might come into play: Neurons from your brain send signals all over the body, making everything intimately connected, Dr. Rauch says. That means if someone has a memory of their trauma or the memory is triggered, that might spark physical pain or discomfort in places like (you guessed it) the hips or whatever body part might be associated with that trauma. Trauma may not literally be held in that specific body part, but that brain-body connection is a huge reason why people might feel the need to stretch it out, Dr. Rauch adds. Unfortunately, unlike those TikToks imply, “There’s no one place you can point at and say, ‘This is your trauma memory, and it’s right here,’ or ‘It’s in your hips,’ or ‘It’s in your arm.’” 

It’s also possible that your body can get stuck in its fight, flight, or freeze response after experiencing trauma. And that continuous release of stress hormones can wear down your body, Dr. Ferguson says. For example, people with multiple adverse childhood experiences (like abuse and neglect) are more likely to have health issues, such as heart disease, depression, and substance misuse disorders, as adults, suggests a 2019 study on adult health issues. 

I can’t exactly pinpoint what possibly could have been the start of all of my physical manifestations and recurrent physical reminders of everything I’ve lived through, but I can only hypothesize that it started with the rocky childhood relationship I had with my family (that is actually quite common in Asian-American households).

As a child, my entire focus was education. I remember I received my first C in Geometry in 7th grade. When my mom found out on my report card, she screamed at me – quite terrifyingly. I mean, I still remember it, so I guess it was traumatizing. She didn’t even have to be in the same room as me. She moved to another room, still screaming, and I was still terrified. Since the day that I received that earful from my mother, I tried harder in school so that I would never get yelled at like that ever again. I mean, if her goal was to make sure I did better, it worked? But it came with a cost.

I was never abused or neglected outright as a child, but I do remember many meals were instant noodles or frozen meals because my mom was constantly working and didn’t have time/energy to cook for us. I don’t see this as a bad thing, though; I understand now that it was something that was just necessary. My mother worked two, sometimes three, jobs at once in order to support us. I hold no resentment towards my mother for the things in my childhood. Heck – I only work one full-time job and even after work, I’m too tired to cook for myself and I’m just one person! I can’t imagine having to cook a fresh meal for a whole family – much less, hungry, growing children.

Back to the point: My family never had a close relationship as I was growing up. My oldest sister was kicked out of the house when she was 18; I think I was still in middle school at the time. My older sister bullied me and we frequently butted heads. We never said “I love you”, expressed care straightforwardly, or even talked about how we felt. Although I don’t see any of that as particularly traumatizing, it could be the source of my chronic nightmares that began as as teenager. But I’ll have to speak to a professional about that at some point. For now, further reflection.